Peace and quiet

Whenever I feel peaceful or safe, something always comes in my way to destroy everything I managed to build...
I've had it with this thing called life, I know I made some big mistakes, but that's no reason to be punished like that... I need safety, I need peace and quiet...I need his arms around me, I need to be told that it's okay, no one's gonna hurt me anymore, and nothing bad can touch me now...

But he doesn't do that...he preferres to run away cowardly, and come back whenever he feels safe...and what am I supposed to do now? Just sit and wait for him to come back?? No way...
I'm too tired to do that...I'm too tired and I've lost my patience... and I feel like waiting, cause I know it's worth it...but until when??? I accepted my fate, but whoever gave it to me can come and take it back, cause I don't really want it...

I don't have the slightest idea why he showed up in my life..I was much better without him... I was in my little own world...dealing with my own little problems...

Now all's gone...I've lost the touch, I've lost the contact...I'm lost...I'm actually stuck between love and desire, and need....


Guide me...take me somewhere safe....where I can clear my head...and my soul...and search for better options in the big blue sky...cause now I can't find anything...it's too cloudy......help me...